• Sometime around March, I noticed that people would be looking at my stomach at Maaveave's school. I often felt I should just look at them and wait for their eyes to meet mine then say, "Yeah, Im fat. And you're ugly. Go jump off a cliff or something." Until the day parents were invited to come in and see children's work at school and I had a nice little chat with Maaveave's teacher. Maaveave apparently tells her that God gave him a baby sister and its in his mummy's tummy. Apparently this he tells everyone. That explains the stares at my stomach. And it doesnt help that there is a healthy amount of lard sitting at my middle.

    Discussions around baby 3 have been a frequent. My ovaries literally squeeze me when I see a new baby. I saw one particular cute saiga looking baby on Sunday at church and I wanted to take him hostage. When I think about lugging my swollen body around in that last trimester not caring about the pain of birth but just to get the baby OUT. Then there are the sleepless nights and early early morning calls to John cursing him for being in Savaii and not sharing the pain (the call is to mainly wake him up too so that he suffers along with me). The constant crying and you not knowing what is wrong and feeling helpless and useless. Being constantly attached to another human being and not being able to even go use the toilet before you hear them screaming the roof down. Ahhh..the list goes on. But to top it off - John being in Savaii. I have refused to have this bother me for a while but everytime he so much as breathes the word "baby", I release my venom that is my whole, "when you find a job on this island" speech and he quickly retracts and says to just leave it. And I am standing strong on this.

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